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February  3, 2007
Dear Mr. Leventhal and Mr. Murphy
Thank you for taking a sincere interest in Jordan, as a student and as an individual. You were quick to establish a rapport with him- he almost immediately felt included, accepted and comfortable at ERC, thanks to you. This is particularly noteworthy, given the situation- he is frustrated by school, somewhat ashamed of his difficulties there, desperate to do better, and like any of us, not wanting to put so much focus on his deficiencies. He’d rather not be visiting a tutor! Going to tutoring, to a teenager, is worse than going to the doctor. And for Jordan in particular, I have to guess that the “pain” associated with it is exacerbated by the knowledge that both of his older brothers have been very successful students through their own energies- neither of them ever received special help.
I am also writing to relay a story that will sound simple, but is profound for me, and elicits tears of thankfulness as I write it. One recent evening when Jordan was at your facility for tutoring, I was in the next room working, and I overheard only snippets of a conversation. Mr. Murphy was talking to someone (the tutors, or maybe everyone in the room?) about the fact that President Bush would be making a State of the Union speech at 9:00 that night. I wasn’t really listening, so I don’t know how the conversation flowed or what the others’ responses were. But I do know that it made an impression on Jordan. When we got home, Jordan announced to his older brothers that the president would be speaking at 9:00. He said this like a young man whose confidence had been bolstered, because he had some important knowledge, and he had made the determination that this speech was something worth his attention. He wanted to share this conviction. This interest in the larger world was new for him. After his announcement, he added “Do you want to know how I know this?” I only wish he’d had the chance to offer that explanation. His brothers shut him down by responding “It’s in the newspaper, stupid…everyone knows it.”
You are tutoring Jordan in geometry, but by your very nature, you are exposing him to a larger world. You are instilling values and perspectives. You are saying things that I either forget to say as an overwhelmed parent, or that Jordan cannot “hear” me say, because I am his mom. You have a way of speaking to Jordan that I do not have, partly because I am a woman and partly because my parental love gets in the way. Thank you for showing firmness in a way that inspires Jordan instead of criticizing him. He will listen to you, because his gut tells him that you are in his corner, caring about his success. You do what I somehow cannot do.
Thank you,
Elaine
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